Thursday, June 16, 2016

Off the Wagon

I've fallen off the wagon again.  No, not that wagon!    I'm talking about the one where I'm riding along, on board, making goals, starting and finishing projects, blogging regularly,...Unfortunately the list of things I'm NOT doing also includes exercising regularly, grocery shopping, and even making my bed every day.  Do I have a good excuse?  Well probably not a good one.  But there are a few legitimate reasons this has occurred...(also some not so legit, which I will also admit to further on down the blog.)

You see, for a year, my husband and I have been working on opening a Vacation Rental by Owner.  It and managing our other rental properties have been pretty all-consuming, and I have had very little time for other things.  (And no, it's not open yet.  We are waiting on finishing the outside painting and landscaping, and to finish the pool. The amazing rain we are getting this spring, while always welcome, is making it NOT happen.) 

 For the most part, it's been quite fun.  It's a house built in 1960 in the mid-century modern style, and we've had a blast turning it to a genuinely Mod Haus.  It has been quite a creative endeavor, and like I said, fun for the most part.  Now we are finally nearing the finish, which is fantastic but suddenly I'm finding that I almost HATE the thing.  I just so want it to stop owning me and my time!  I want it to start bringing money in instead of being a money pit...I want to move ON.

And that's just ONE thing - naturally there are many other things pulling our attention as well.  I know, I know -  I should be grateful to have so much going on, but today I'm just irritated by it.  I think the truth is that I'm just out of balance completely.  I've always worked at a "real" job (mostly teaching) away from home until the last couple of years, and that made a schedule necessary.  Certain things happen on certain days at certain times. Laundry happens on blah and blah.  Exercise happens at such and such time - you working women know what I mean.  But being self-employed, I thought I might be able to just do things as they come up; that things would be more flexible.  They aren't.  I mean, they can't be for me at least, because I can't seem to get to all the things I want to do - even more so than when I worked and mothered full time - surprises the shit out of me, let me tell ya. 

 I guess I just need a schedule (and the self-discipline to follow it!).  

In my defense, it has been difficult to follow a schedule because so many things that need immediate attention are constantly popping up.  On the other hand, I haven't even tried to make one, and the reason is because (okay, there's that lack of discipline again) and also because I liked the idea of not having to do it.  I figured things would still get done because my time was my own (sort of, anyway). 

But now I'm thinking that simply being alive requires regular care and feeding, let alone actually trying to accomplish things.  And so I suppose I must accept the fact that I still have to make a daily and weekly schedule and (equally important) stick to it. So I'm going to try it.  I can't schedule certain things, such as issues with plumbing or whatnot, but still, it may help me restore some balance in my life.  And I need  balance in order to create (That my Oprah-self knows for sure, girls.)

I just need to schedule in some flexibility into my schedule. Is that an oxymoron?  I'll find out soon enough.   In the meantime, I am so grateful for the opportunities we have been getting here.  I do feel that I'm lucky as hell.  I admit I get a little cranky when I don't get to my studio very often.  But as usual, just writing all this down helps me make the realization that I just need to focus on where I am right at this moment, right now and make peace with it and even maybe ENJOY it!  

So here are some photos of the VRBO, which we call Mod Haus (it's online and we have bookings - hooray!) and some other projects I've been working on whenever I have a spare moment, that is...

The pillows I made really kind of PoP on the gray couch!

Here's a shot of the dining area - big open space, and yes, I hung a lot of my art on the walls - but really - I had so many pieces that were perfect for the place it was almost eery!

Does this look like a great place for a party or what?!

Ahhh - the pool - don't ya just want to dive in!?  I do.

So the other day I actually got to spend the afternoon on art!  Here's what I did - I couldn't stop until I got it all put together - it took me eight hours!!!  But I'm pretty psyched at how it turned out:

And here is some weird Idea I'm having.  I love the creamy colors with the sky blues so I'm making something...don't know exactly what yet.

The photo was taken at 11:00 at night, so the light isn't too great, neither is the sewing, for that matter, but I'm okay with wonky in this case cuz I'm experimenting.

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