A Walk in the Clouds

I see how easy it is to get addicted to internet sites.   I sometimes feel like I could literally spend entire days searching through sites for information, inspiration…take Pinterest, for example – I can’t wait to check it and see what people have put on there – it’s an entire world of ideas, just waiting for me to point and click!  Often those ideas lead to new discoveries – websites, idea sites, etc.  People are doing so much every day!  It’s amazing any of us get anything done! Take laundry, for example  – that reminds of a funny adage I saw on Pinterest:  “As I do more laundry, nudists look less crazy.”  Ha!-larious! 

        There’s another really funny one about Target with a mom going into the shop saying “We only need ONE thing.” Then it shows the Target symbol saying “Look deeply into my eye,” and the woman’s eye turns into a little target and she says “Yes, yes – I do need curtains…”  So true – love it!  I could go on and on (or you could go to Pinterest and see for yourself – just finish reading this first, please.)

        Through Pinterest I discovered Houzz – another really cool website where people show work they are doing on their properties and you can even get contractors through it – really neat – I could spend an hour or two, easy, on there, even though I’m don’t need any work on my house and I’m married to a brilliant contractor!  It’s just really interesting…

        But all the time I spend on the internet being inspired has a price – mostly paid by my house, but also by my posterior, which gets sat upon too much, and too, by my creativity.  Yes, there is inspiration everywhere on the magical clouds in the computer, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing by any means – anything that makes people feel more connected to each other cannot be bad – we need to remember we are all the same, regardless of our stories  - it makes it harder for us to treat each other badly.

         For me, however, I perceive a danger of being swallowed whole by the behemoth and becoming so stuck in there that I can’t find my way out to actually create something from all the ideas that I’m floating on, air-like.  It’s almost like the Borg in Star Trek – I am becoming part of the collective and losing my own ability to make decisions and do things, and while it’s good to feel connected to perfect strangers through mutual interests, I know it’s not the right path for me to only reflect and not take action.   I am most definitely not a ‘frequency holder,’ as Eckhart Tolle puts it -  I do - that’s where my zen comes from.

         And as pleasant as all these websites, social media, inspirations are – ultimately for me, it’s just not that gratifying – it’s only pseudo-satisfaction.  It seems in the moment like it might be, but when I wake up from my computer coma with a sore backside and googly eyes, I realize it’s two-dimensional, and I like to live in three dimensions. 

        I’m not saying I won’t go on there and look around – maybe even on a daily basis – but I want strive to keep it in its rightful place – on the periphery.   The cool thing is that it will be there when I need it, and it will keep, but my time is finite, and I need to be mindful of how it’s spent – there needs to be a balance, and I’m trying to walk my line.

        Now...I think I'll go check my email and see what's going on with my friends on Facebook.  (Just kidding!)

Super Woman?

            I won’t say I think I can do anything but - ever since I made my first simple little quilt (any quilter knows the one I’m talking about –they were brightly colored squares of flannel that were sandwiched and sewn individually – the hardest thing about them was cutting the raggedy edges – my hands got cramps!) I have been feeling more and more confident.  Now, ten years later, I find myself thinking I can create pretty much anything I can imagine.  In short, I feel – well – rather invincible.  Here’s a recent example:

            A week or so ago, I was thumbing through an advertisement magazine and I saw the coolest, colorful, most elegant little poufs for the living room – priced at a mere $400 - and that was before shipping!  I thought to myself how nice it would be to have them, but I didn't really need one and couldn't really justify the expense...suddenly I got a wild idea - why not make them myself!  I mean - look at the other things I've made - surely I could do this myself - for way less money, too.   My goal was to make them for about $150.  Time was irrelevant because my boys were gone for a week to California and I had no responsibilities – no dinners, no housecleaning, no pick-ups, no laundry – for a full week.  (Yeah I missed them, but still – no cooking for a full week – Yippee!!!)

              I had no idea how to make a pouf, but that didn’t stop me.  I started out the way all quilters do – by picking out fabric!  I also got some two inch foam I happened to see because I figured it might come in handy, too.  And some cording to make piping, too, of course. I decided I would build a wooden frame and cover it with the foam, then sew a fabric cover, complete with stylish piping, to finish it off.  Simple!  Easy!  No problemo - I can do this!

            Aside from taking shop in middle school (umpteen years ago), I really didn’t have the slightest idea how to use power tools – or which ones I needed for that matter.  At least, I though, not yet. So I went to my brother (Why not my ever-supportive, helpful  husband, you ask?  Well, for one, he was out of town when the inspiration hit me, and for two – he would have been a little too helpful –as in doing it for me, and by golly, I wanted to do it myself!) for advice on what to get for the frame.  He told me ¼ inch plywood and 1x2 lumber, wood screws, and glue.  Sounded ever so simple  - now I knew I could do this!

            I blithely went to the lumber store and although I had to search the entire store three times to find it all (While I’m very familiar with Target, the grocery store, Wal-Mart, and Costco, I was like an ant out of line in the lumber store.  And besides - those aisles need to be marked better!)  Once I finally got the plywood on the rack and transferred all the other stuff to those funky lumber carts, I made my way carefully to the checkout, only knocking a few items off the shelves as I passed by (nothing broke, by the way).  Just as I was about to check out, I realized the plywood sheet was far too big to fit into the back of my car.  Oops!  Well, at least I realized it before I bought it.  Still confident and determined… 

            But what to do?   I was on a mission, and not about to leave that store without plywood.  So I thought for a moment, and then I did what anyone would do – I called my daddy.  He was full of good advice, but while I was talking to him I came across some plywood sheets that had already been cut – Eureka!  I realized that if I bought a couple of those, I could still leave the store with the lumber I needed and better yet – they would fit into the car!  Crisis averted - so clever and good at problem-solving am I!

            Once I got all the stuff home, I went to Jeff’s (my bro) house and he helped me measure and cut with a circular saw – not as easy as it looks, by the way.  Everything has to be so precise – luckily he had some extra lumber and lots of patience, because I made a few mistakes (just a few, tiny mistakes…really!)  We made a box so sturdy one can sit on it!  We even rounded the corners so it wouldn’t be too sharp!  I felt so empowered!  Next time I’ll really be able to do it myself! (Oh yes - there will be a next time!)

            Afterwards, we had a beer, and Jeffrey laughed when I said “Hey that was harder than I thought it was going to be, but it was fun.”  “ Ha!” he said, “that was the easy part.  The next part is going to be much tougher – making the cover.” It was my turn to laugh - I guess it’s all a matter of perspective, because  I knew making the cover was going to be a snap.

             Tired but confident from my bout with power tools, I glued the foam on that night before I went to bed, because I was so excited.  Hmm - the pouf was now a bit larger than I had anticipated – I had measured and cut the wood based on my desired finished size, not counting the foam. Originally I was going to put casters on it to make it move easily, but then it would have been almost twenty inches high – too high for a footrest for sure, but no problem – I just wouldn’t add the casters!  True - it was big, but still, I was undaunted!  It was excellent!

            As I predicted, making the cover was a snap!  Okay, not exactly – it turns out that piping is not so easy to get straight as I thought, and I ran out of cord for it (perhaps because the thing was so big) and had to run to town for more. (Thank heavens I had over-bought the fabric!)  But these were minor hiccups and did not deter me in the slightest – I wasn’t even crabby about them!  Why?  Because I was so capable, of course!

            Then there was the (minor!) problem of how to get the bottom covered.  I had decided to make the cover like a couch cushion cover with a split in the middle, but I ended up cutting it and stapling it to the bottom – no amount of grunting, pulling or cursing could make it  stretch enough to go over wood and still be tight.  Not so pretty – oh well – no one will ever know (except of course, now they will because I’m telling everyone!   No matter, it doesn’t show so who cares – the thing looks great, even if it is a bit large and is basically now a coffee table rather than the small, elegant pouf I originally designed.    The thing is, I love it, and I made it myself (well - mostly)! 

 I am a seriously Can-Do Girl!  And I can’t wait to think of the next thing I’m gonna make!

Blink of a Eye

          So….time.  It’s relative, you know.  Apparently, time moves slower in outer space than here on the old terra firma (not much difference, but still – go figure on that one!)  Einstein said that time is all a matter of perspective, and that if we could go backwards around the sun at the correct velocity, we could go backwards in time.  Eckhart Tolle says that time doesn’t really exist, it’s just a mental construct (however, something is definitely writing lines across my face, so whatever).  And of course, there’s the whole deal of time travel and whether it is actually possible or advisable to go backwards or forwards in time, and supposedly, time warps when you get close to a black hole or something…

           I don’t know about all that stuff.  But I do know that the part of the day when I’m awake between sun up and bed time seems to move a little too quickly for me.  Sometimes it seems like before I’ve even finished my morning coffee, it’s already 3:30 – time to pick up Jonas, come home, and start dinner.  Where did the day go?!  And the bigger question is “What did I accomplish today?” 

          Because whether or not time exists in the larger sense, I’ll tell you something – creativity takes it.  A quilt, from start to finish, takes - at minimum - eighty hours (and I’m probably being very conservative here).  Writing a two thousand word children’s story takes much, much longer, if you count revisions.  Even the little animals and pictures I paint take several plus hours each to make.  Gardening is an incredibly time-consuming thing, as well.  Not just growing vegetables, but even creating and maintaining a living yard takes a huge commitment of - whatever that thing is that keeps the earth moving around the sun.

          I mention all of this not to complain – all of the above are joyful, meaningful, soul-filling and productive in many ways.  It’s just that it is difficult for me sometimes to figure out where to direct my energies, when I have so many ideas and things I want to accomplish and the day (the parts that are left after the required, necessary stuff is done, of course) seem to be just so – so - SHORT!

          There’s so much abundance and desire to create that I sometimes feel paralyzed and am unable to use the time I actually do have to work on something, because I know my time is limited.  It’s quite ironic, really - I just have too much - food, possessions, people I love, interests, responsibilities…IDEAS!    Too much of everything, in fact, except that one thing that is relative and maybe doesn’t even exist – TIME!   Ha ha ha – the joke’s on me! 

          Or maybe it was on me, but now I’m wising up.  I’m realizing right now as I write this that it really is just a matter of perspective.  In reality, the only moment we have is right now – we can only hope there is a future, and the past has – well - passed.  While I’m here and full of ideas, energy, and excitement I should simply make the most of what is happening now, not worrying about the fact that this moment will soon be gone, or whether or not I’m going to accomplish  everything I want or finish what I start – DUH, Carrie!

            It’s like that Nike commercial –  I’m going to “JUST DO IT!”   I’m going to pour my energies and direct my thoughts to whatever I feel like (or whatever needs to be done) and just be in this moment.  I don’t need to take everything so damned seriously or to feel so frenzied because night (and the very necessary sleep) is coming – I just need to live now, in this moment – it’s really the only “time” I know I have, anyway.   

P.S. Yippee – I feel so FREE!  One of the perks of writing this blog is that I sometimes have a seriously insightful moment during the process!  It’s so excellent!  My purpose is mainly to entertain and to share my struggles and thoughts in the hopes that others can connect and relate to them, but if I accidently pass one of my” AHA” moments on to my readers, that would be most excellent, too.  On that note, please let me know if there’s anything you would like me to research, discuss, rant about – I’ll do my best to accommodate – if I have enough time, that is…

           

           

Lightning Strikes!

          We’re ten minutes down the road on a trip when suddenly I have to pee violently.  Damn, we just left and none of us, including me, want to stop.  Plus we’re in the middle of nowhere.   This is extremely inconvenient, not to mention uncomfortable.  Luckily I still have my “teacher’s bladder,” which can hold it for hours (in this case, just 20 or so minutes before we hit a gas station.) Then ahh – relief.  I don’t know why things have to happen at such inopportune times…

          I have the same trouble with artistic urges.  I’ll be at work, when I’m suddenly seized with a “brilliant” idea or a deep urge to create.  It will sing through my veins and circulate throughout my brain and all I want to do is get to my studio and get started – NOW!  But, alas, it isn’t possible at the moment.   I do carry around a small notebook in which to put ideas, which helps a lot…but it’s certainly not as satisfying as having an inspiration and being able to instantly get started.  This happens to me often. 

          I’ve had compelling creative urges on an airplane, in the middle of a training, when I was on a dinner date with my husband...even once in the middle of a job interview.  I was trying to concentrate and this idea kept bubbling around the periphery of my thoughts – I had to mentally admonish my brain to shut up so I could finish.  After the interview, I rushed home and immersed myself In my studio for two days.  (I did get the job, by the way, and I have the quilt to prove it!) 

          It’s interesting that ideas and urges occur when I can’t get to my studio or when I am doing something completely unrelated.  I’ve decided that the fact of being busy seems to actually stimulate my brain, which is good.   However, it can also be enormously frustrating because more often than not, I simply can’t stop what I’m doing and rush to my studio and get to work like I want to - but that’s what the little notebook is all about, I guess.  Sometimes I lose ideas – that’s even worse!   It seems that I have one of those brains whose synapses simply cannot be controlled! I imagine that they are a tangle of unruly connections that pop off whenever and in whatever direction they feel like, whereas other people’s brains are much more ordered and synchronized.

          What is ironic, however, is that sometimes when I actually have a little time and energy to work on something, I flatline.  I suppose I’m just a contrarian to the max – I even thwart myself!  Here’s an example:  I’ve been really inspired lately with ideas for these animals that I paint, and I had a bunch of ideas written down.  Last night I had an hour or two before bed so I decided to work on one of them.  But when I was facing a blank pig, none of them seemed right or exciting.  I doodled quite a bit but was dissatisfied with all the designs – I had no mojo.  How disappointing, when all day I had wanted to get to my art but had no time.  After fiddling around for an hour or so, my eyes began to droop so, defeated, I decided to go bed.  No sooner had I laid my head on the pillow when - BOOM – inspiration!

 Go figure.

Oh well, at least I know what I’m going to do with that blank pig…whenever I can get to it, that is.

Up on the Latest?

I love art. But the thing about art is that there’s so much of it!  There is an infinite number of styles, methods, techniques, ideas, and ways to combine materials.  This is a great thing.  And at any given moment, someone is giving birth another new idea, often with amazing and breathtaking results.   It’s literally impossible to think that one can possibly know all the new ins and outs of art, but I, apparently am so far behind, I might be described as being in the Dark Ages. 

Let me illustrate:   When I was at the quilt show I noticed a new (to me, anyway) technique that was really making its way around the hall.  I had never heard of this technique before the quilt show, but it seemed to be everywhere I went with very inspiring results.  Everyone else seemed to be completely “up” on this new thing, but I had never even heard of it!  It was then that I realized that “hipster” me (as I like to think of myself) is actually a quilting dinosaur -  while the rest of the fiber art world is moving at the speed of light, me and my pea brain are plodding slowly through the fabric jungle, waiting for the creative meteor to hit.  Yikes!

Rarely do I know about trends and techniques in the quilting world.  This is further illustrated to me every time I actually make it to my quilting bee.  I just don’t know where these women get their 411!  They seem to know about everyone  and everything, from fabric to techniques to machines, thread, notions…the list continues while  I  sit there, woefully ignorant and completely unschooled.   

“Maybe I need to take more quilting classes,” I think.  “Or do more internet searches…or order more magazines on quilting…” (Come to think of it, I did order a magazine on machine quilting at the quilt show, but for some reason it hasn’t shown up yet - perhaps I had better check up on that sometime.  Especially since it was one of those unintended purchases that put me over my spending limit, and here I sit, not getting one iota of knowledge or enjoyment from it – shame on me!)  But for some reason, I never actually do it.

I did join a Textile Arts Guild in Austin back in October, thinking it would be a way to learn new things, but have been unable to remember to go to any of the meetings thus far, which makes me think that perhaps this was not such a bully idea. (Past experience tells me that if I don’t actually remember something is happening  - like a once a month meeting - I actually have no interest in it.)  So I’ll let that membership lapse, although I’m sure there was a lot I could’ve learned from the experience. 

I want to learn more, become better, truly I do.  And I know there are many people out there from whom I can learn a great deal.  But still, I seem to resist.  I wonder why…

First, I must say that it’s not as though I have any trouble coming up with projects even in my state of ignoramus-ness.  I’m full of ideas, in fact.  There are several sketches, notes, lists of ideas, etc. waiting to be turned into reality in my studio right at this moment.  And many of them, as I have pointed out before, are more than a bit ambitious.  I definitely learn as I go on many of my projects, which may mean that I am wasting time inventing a technique that is already in service – hmm - doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?

On the flip side, in a Willy Wonka world with too many choices and where everything looks fun and delicious, I want to try it all - but I simply cannot.  The danger of becoming overwhelmed with intentions and actually never doing anything is a very real one, at least for me.  I guess one way of not flat-lining is to just not know about it – that way I won’t feel like I’m missing something.   

There’s another reason, too, for my lack of expert knowledge, if I’m to be completely honest (and of course, I must).   I have to admit that while I love to go to the quilt festival and be inspired by the beauty and innovation I see there, I like to try to come up with stuff on my own – to not be too influenced by new trends, but to just let my ideas bubble up organically, with no “fad fertilizer.”  How cheeky!  “Who the hell do I think I am? “ I ask myself.  Well, it’s not exactly just arrogance – allow me to explain myself to me (and you.)

It’s not like I don’t realize that none of my ideas are inherently original; I feel like my connection to life and other human beings precludes that, but if I’m not so “in the know,” then I can feel like they’re developing from a place of creativity inside me; from my consciousness  - which come to think of it, doesn’t really work for me either, because I believe my consciousness is connected to everyone else, anyway. 

“So,” you might say “what’s the difference?”  Well, as it turns out, for me -- that’s where a lot of my creative enjoyment is derived – coming up with a ridiculous or fantastic idea and finding some way to make it a reality.  Part of the pleasure I get is from actually not knowing what I’m doing!  Now, not having all the skills and the knowledge to make my dreams three dimensional might (and does) lead to disaster or failure at times, but I guess that’s just the way I like to do it -it’s part of the journey for me.   

However,  I’m still gonna make an attempt to be more informed – you never know when – or how – creativity might strike, and when it does, it does help a lot to have the skills to turn that creative idea into a living, breathing piece of art.  I’m going to look things up on the internet more, and try to stay more informed on techniques, etc – in small doses.  (I learned from Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka that too much of a good thing can indeed be bad.)   

Ahh -  suddenly (Satori!)  I realize that having skills and knowledge is not going to stop me from coming up with ideas  - in fact, often understanding leads to greater freedom  -  freedom to go wherever my little dinosaur brain can take me.  It’s not about waiting for the creative meteor to hit - it’s about the steps you take before it hits.  Then you might just have somewhere to go afterwards. 

Well, like I said, it’s a journey…  

To Trend or Not to Trend

I love art. But the thing about art is that there's so much of it!  There are an infinite number of styles, methods, techniques, ideas, and ways to combine materials.  This is a great thing.  And at any given moment, someone is giving birth another new idea, often with amazing and breathtaking results.   It’s literally impossible to think that one can possibly know all the new ins and outs of art, but I, apparently am so far behind, I might be described as being in the Dark Ages. 

Let me illustrate:   When I was at the quilt show I noticed a new (to me, anyway) technique that was really making its way around the hall.  I had never heard of this technique before the quilt show, but it seemed to be everywhere I went with very inspiring results.  Everyone else seemed to be completely “up” on this new thing, but I had never even heard of it!  It was then that I realized that “hipster” me (as I like to think of myself) is actually a quilting dinosaur -  while the rest of the fiber art world is moving at the speed of light, me and my pea brain are plodding slowly through the fabric jungle, waiting for the creative meteor to hit.  Yikes!

Rarely do I know about trends and techniques in the quilting world.  This is further illustrated to me every time I actually make it to my quilting bee.  I just don’t know where these women get their 411!  They seem to know about everyone  and everything, from fabric to techniques to machines, thread, notions…the list continues while  I  sit there, woefully ignorant and completely unschooled.   

“Maybe I need to take more quilting classes,” I think.  “Or do more internet searches…or order more magazines on quilting…” (Come to think of it, I did order a magazine on machine quilting at the quilt show, but for some reason it hasn’t shown up yet - perhaps I had better check up on that sometime.  Especially since it was one of those unintended purchases that put me over my spending limit, and here I sit, not getting one iota of knowledge or enjoyment from it – shame on me!)  But I never actually do it.

 I did join a Textile Arts Guild in Austin back in October, thinking it would be a way to learn new things, but have been unable to remember to go to any of the meetings thus far, which makes me think that perhaps this was not such a bully idea. (Past experience tells me that if I don’t actually remember something is happening  - like a once a month meeting - I actually have no interest in it.)  So I’ll let that membership lapse, although I’m sure there was a lot I could’ve learned from the experience. 

I want to learn more, become better, truly I do.  And I know there are many people out there from whom I can learn a great deal.  But still, I seem to resist.  I wonder why…

First, I must say that it’s not as though I have any trouble coming up with projects even in my state of ignoramus-ness.  I’m full of ideas, in fact.  There are several sketches, notes, lists of ideas, etc. waiting to be turned into reality in my studio right at this moment.  And many of them, as I have pointed out before, are more than a bit ambitious.  I definitely learn as I go on many of my projects, which may mean that I am wasting time inventing a technique that is already in service – hmm - doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?

On the flip side, in this world of instant info, there is so very much out there to learn, see, and know – the danger of becoming overwhelmed with intentions and actually not doing anything is a very real one, at least for me.  In a Willy Wonka world with too many choices and where everything looks fun and delicious, I want to try it all…but I simply cannot.  I guess one way of not flat-lining is to just not know about it – that way I won’t feel like I’m missing something.   

There’s another reason, too, for my lack of expert knowledge, if I’m to be completely honest (and of course, I must).   I have to admit that while I love to go to the quilt festival and be inspired by the beauty and innovation I see there, I like to try to come up with stuff on my own – to not be too influenced by new trends, but to just let my ideas bubble up organically, with no “fad fertilizer.”  How cheeky!  “Who the hell do I think I am? “ I ask myself.  Well, it’s not exactly just arrogance – allow me to explain myself to me (and you.)

It’s not like I don’t realize that none of my ideas are inherently original;  I feel like my connection to life and other human beings precludes that, but if I’m not so “in the know,” then I can feel like they’re developing from a place of creativity inside me; from my consciousness  - which come to think of it, doesn’t really work for me either, because I believe my consciousness is connected to everyone else, anyway, in a way. 

“So,” you might say “what’s the difference?”  Well, as it turns out, for me -- that’s where a lot of my creative enjoyment is derived – coming up with a ridiculous or fantastic idea and finding some way to make it a reality.  Part of the pleasure I get is from actually not knowing what I’m doing!  Now, not having all the skills and the knowledge to make my dreams three dimensional might (and does) lead to disaster or failure at times, but I guess that’s just the way I like to do it -it’s part of the journey for me.   

However,  I’m still gonna make an attempt to be a little more informed – you never know when – or how – creativity might strike, and when it does, it does help a lot to have the skills to turn that creative idea into a living, breathing piece of art.  I’m going to look things up on the internet more, and try to stay more informed on techniques, etc – in small doses.  (I learned from Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka that too much of a good thing can indeed be bad.)   

Ahh -  suddenly (Satori!)  I realize that having skills and knowledge is not going to stop me from coming up with ideas  - in fact, often understanding leads to greater freedom  -  freedom to go wherever my little dinosaur brain can take me.  It’s not about waiting for the creative meteor to hit - it’s about the steps you take before it hits.  Then you’ll have somewhere to go afterwards. 

Well, like I said, it’s a journey…  

Bunches and Bunches...of Malarky

OMG – what load last week’s blog was.  Let me just tell you right now about that schedule I planned to assiduously adhere to last week:   It ain’t going to happen, folks!  (Those of you who know me well are possibly rolling around on the floor in hilarity right about now, aren’t you?  Well…you told me so!)  All I can say in my defense is that I actually was completely sincere at the time…

In fact, just looking at the list as I formed it made me feel itchy and irritable – I wanted to reach into the computer and wipe that smug list off its smug, flat face!  I started dreading getting up in the morning to face the list before I even put a single item on it!

But I did have an epiphany (yep, another one).  In the act of trying to be “a grown up,” I realized what I want to do at this moment is to give myself permission to  be free to do what I feel like doing at any given moment, not tie myself to some esoteric ideal of how I should be behaving.  It’s not as though I’m  NOT getting anything done, anyway – I feel I am taking better care of my family and my life than I ever have done before and I’m full of ideas and joy, so really, what more is there?  I just thought that maybe I could fit more “creative” time in, but really, it’s just a matter of choice.  I can find the time if I want to, or I can waste time on things that don’t really matter to me.  It’s that simple. 

Now then, it wasn’t a total wasted idea, making a list - it did help to look at what’s important to me on a daily basis.  I also ended up making a list of “BIG” To-do’s; things I want to accomplish in the Near…or Not-So-Near, future.  Also known as a “Someday maybe I might want to”, or “Someday I might absolutely have to do this or else” – you know, a long-range list. 

I’ll print it and put it on my kitchen bulletin board where I will, most likely, happily ignore it most of the time (as I do my calendar).  Then, every once in a while I’ll think ‘Hey, I think I actually feel like cleaning out the car today,’ or I might experience some such rare and out-of-character urge to organize my closet or to do some other equally dreary, but once accomplished task which leads to a shallow sense of accomplishment and even temporary enjoyment (temporary because it will soon be a mess again - but still worth it). 

This burst of "Type A" energy will come over me for no particular reason, as it occasionally does, and I will swiftly move to act on it so as to be able to actually cross an item off the list.   As I accomplish my big tasks I’ll possibly do a little tarantella or salsa dance of joy and then go back to complete disregard of it again for a long while. 

Naturally I realize I’ll have to add more to it at times - I’m no idealistic fool! ("HA!" again, huh?)   In fact, it shall henceforth be known as the “Neverending List of Things that Must Be Done at Some Point…Or Another.”

But for now it’s back to flying by the seat of my pants again for me, pretty much.  Hey …at least I’ll be flying! J