Monday, March 5, 2012

Blink of a Eye

          So….time.  It’s relative, you know.  Apparently, time moves slower in outer space than here on the old terra firma (not much difference, but still – go figure on that one!)  Einstein said that time is all a matter of perspective, and that if we could go backwards around the sun at the correct velocity, we could go backwards in time.  Eckhart Tolle says that time doesn’t really exist, it’s just a mental construct (however, something is definitely writing lines across my face, so whatever).  And of course, there’s the whole deal of time travel and whether it is actually possible or advisable to go backwards or forwards in time, and supposedly, time warps when you get close to a black hole or something…

           I don’t know about all that stuff.  But I do know that the part of the day when I’m awake between sun up and bed time seems to move a little too quickly for me.  Sometimes it seems like before I’ve even finished my morning coffee, it’s already 3:30 – time to pick up Jonas, come home, and start dinner.  Where did the day go?!  And the bigger question is “What did I accomplish today?” 

          Because whether or not time exists in the larger sense, I’ll tell you something – creativity takes it.  A quilt, from start to finish, takes - at minimum - eighty hours (and I’m probably being very conservative here).  Writing a two thousand word children’s story takes much, much longer, if you count revisions.  Even the little animals and pictures I paint take several plus hours each to make.  Gardening is an incredibly time-consuming thing, as well.  Not just growing vegetables, but even creating and maintaining a living yard takes a huge commitment of - whatever that thing is that keeps the earth moving around the sun.

          I mention all of this not to complain – all of the above are joyful, meaningful, soul-filling and productive in many ways.  It’s just that it is difficult for me sometimes to figure out where to direct my energies, when I have so many ideas and things I want to accomplish and the day (the parts that are left after the required, necessary stuff is done, of course) seem to be just so – so - SHORT!

          There’s so much abundance and desire to create that I sometimes feel paralyzed and am unable to use the time I actually do have to work on something, because I know my time is limited.  It’s quite ironic, really - I just have too much - food, possessions, people I love, interests, responsibilities…IDEAS!    Too much of everything, in fact, except that one thing that is relative and maybe doesn’t even exist – TIME!   Ha ha ha – the joke’s on me! 

          Or maybe it was on me, but now I’m wising up.  I’m realizing right now as I write this that it really is just a matter of perspective.  In reality, the only moment we have is right now – we can only hope there is a future, and the past has – well - passed.  While I’m here and full of ideas, energy, and excitement I should simply make the most of what is happening now, not worrying about the fact that this moment will soon be gone, or whether or not I’m going to accomplish  everything I want or finish what I start – DUH, Carrie!

            It’s like that Nike commercial –  I’m going to “JUST DO IT!”   I’m going to pour my energies and direct my thoughts to whatever I feel like (or whatever needs to be done) and just be in this moment.  I don’t need to take everything so damned seriously or to feel so frenzied because night (and the very necessary sleep) is coming – I just need to live now, in this moment – it’s really the only “time” I know I have, anyway.   



P.S. Yippee – I feel so FREE!  One of the perks of writing this blog is that I sometimes have a seriously insightful moment during the process!  It’s so excellent!  My purpose is mainly to entertain and to share my struggles and thoughts in the hopes that others can connect and relate to them, but if I accidently pass one of my” AHA” moments on to my readers, that would be most excellent, too.  On that note, please let me know if there’s anything you would like me to research, discuss, rant about – I’ll do my best to accommodate – if I have enough time, that is…