So, my thoughts/feelings on the Houston quilt show - finally.  I loved it, as always.  Every year I am excited, inspired, amazed, and I learn so very much.  It's easy to be a critic, I suppose, but I can hardly find anything at that show that I don't think is amazing (guess I'm still easily amused, as one of my college friends put it) Although at one point, I did overhear a comment that someone was "disappointed" in the winners - huh?  Is that possible?  How could one not be totally bowled over at the dedication, creativity, and amazing detailed work that went into those quilts, even if it isn't exactly something one might do oneself.  I don't get that comment at all.  I will say that I was annoyed at some of the quilts that somehow did NOT win a prize - hard to understand.  I guess there's no accounting for judging!

 I am going to share some of the amazing quilts I saw here and make some comments.  Many of them don't translate to pictures quite as well as they should, but here goes:

Quilt, Interrupted

       I apologize for being so intermittant lately where this blog is concerned, but I am currently suffering from “quiltis interruptus.”  Since attending the quilt show in Houston and being inspired by many new and exciting ideas,  I have, sadly, not had time to work on, think about, or deal with anything remotely having to do with art. 

       And yes, it is making me crabby.  But what’s a girl/wife/mother/chicken farmer/working gal to do? 
        I keep waiting for things to settle down so I can set a schedule to work on my art, but there is no end in sight – hell, now it’s the holiday season, and we all know that means we have to decorate, shop, bake, clean, plan, wrap, socialize (all of which are fun, but they do take time). 
        I have the evenings free most of the time, but I admit that I seem to be picking up the daylight savings-time blahs – I’m really tired at night - lately all I seem to have energy for in the evenings are sedentary pursuits; if I’m lucky and it’s not past 8:30 when I sit down, I might be able to read, watch television, or search the internet without falling asleep, but even doing a crossword puzzle can be too taxing for my brain – last night I drifted off on 22 across!   So anything requiring concentration, patience, and/or problem-solving is definitely out.    

       I know I’m not the only one who suffers from this disease.  We all have things we want to work on that we simply cannot get to at times – it’s called LAAG (Life As a Grown-Up).   And sometimes, let's face it, it sucks.  As my friend Karen put it the other day “I find it can be quite boring at times to be an adult.  In fact, Peter Pan is my idol.”  

         If only my mother hadn’t taught me to be so damned responsible ! (Yes, once again it’s all her fault - she haunts me even from the grave - it's her voice I hear in my head telling me "Do the right thing...take care of your responsibilities...no one ever said it was going to be easy.)  It's enough to make me want to fly away to Neverland myself sometimes!

     Well Tinkerbell, it’s okay if we can’t fit it all in right now.  I know I’ll find the time and energy to get back to art soon.  How do I know this?  Because it’s an important part of my life and as such, I will make it happen.  It’s almost a matter of commitment and discipline - even if at first I have to drag myself kicking and screaming up the stairs and chain myself to the leg of my work table, I know that once I get back to work, the energy and ideas with be there.  I think we all go through periods where we have less creative motivation and/or time, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care, it just means we have other things that are more pressing.

        Soon, when the desire to create overcomes my lassitude, I will get up and get busy again.  Until then, keep tuning in – writing is a pretty sedentary activity, too…although right now I do feel a nap coming on…

Of Mice and Men

              I had the best of intentions: On day one  I was to look at the art; on day two, look at the shops, decide what items I want to purchase and weed out what I could not afford, and on the third day make my purchases.  All might have gone as planned except we ended up tweaking our strategy a little: We decided that instead of viewing all the art at once (It really was quite overwhelming – actually exhausting -  and we felt we couldn’t do them all justice)  we would go back and forth between the shopping booths and the art.  Admire the art for a couple of hours, look at the booths for a couple of hours…take a break and eat, then do it again.  Still, it was working; I didn’t buy anything on the first day, and I only bought one item on the second day.  I had seen most, but not all of the shopping booths by the end of the second day, and I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to buy from what I had seen, so I felt safe on the third day. 

            Little did I know that I was to experience a new phenomena  – one that I will call, the big finale.  On that third day, after I had coolly made my planned purchases, I discovered the Vogue booth, with hundreds of beautiful, colorful batik fabrics for half of what they normally go for!  I felt I would have been a fool to resist buying them, even though I had spent my allotment already.  “Okay,” I told myself, “You’ve spent your sum, but this really is a bargain!  Besides, I know I will use these fabrics!”   So I went ahead and bought them.  Later, we came across a booth we had missed with some of the most interesting designs I had seen in quite some time.  People were in a fabric frenzy in there– flipping through the stacks like they were dealing cards…even grabbing fabric from each other, and I knew that if I didn’t buy some of it, it would be gone, so, weakened  as I was from allowing myself to fall off the fabric wagon, I got that, too.  And that was it – I had taken my finger out of the dike and the material sprang forth.   

            The next day was Saturday, and we only had a few hours at the show before we had to leave.  We still hadn’t seen all the art, so we planned on viewing, and then leaving.   But then I got inspired by some of the pieces I had seen, and we still had two hours, so I decided I wanted to look for specific colors, and  suddenly we passed by the hand-dyes I am such a sucker for,  and the colors were so rich, and I was leaving soon, so I bought some of them, and then I (stupidly) visited the Vogue booth again with their darn half-priced fabrics -  and in the exact colors I was looking for, too…I ended up spending twice the amount I had planned.  I even had to go to the ATM to get more cash for food and incidentals. 

I’m so ashamed!**

            I’m also a little disappointed in myself because I did not remain entirely present and aware, which was my spiritual goal.  I know that I didn’t need to buy all I did;  I already have enough for many future projects, darn it,  but once the end was near, that part of me that is pure emotion took over and the result was, well, fabric gluttony.   I didn’t want to gain any fabric weight this year, but I piled the pounds on at the end.  Damn.

            My only consolation is that I already have ideas and designs in mind for every purchase that I made  - does that make it all better?  Probably not, but it makes me feel better, anyway.   

So for this year, I must give myself a failing grade (A, for avarice), but next year, I’m still striving for a Z (for Zen!)

**Not really, because I really am so excited and inspired by the stuff I got, but I should be - really!

Propoganda Perspective

My son recently did a report on George Orwell for his the English class.  He read one of Orwell’s essays on language and how it can be used to mislead the masses.  It got me thinking about the Houston Quilt Festival, which I will be happily attending next week.  I realized that attending the show can have some Orwellian consequences that are either completely unintended OR – they are diabolically designed by some evil geniuses who are trying to control me, you and everyone else who attends. 

One of the reasons I love to go to the festival is to see and be inspired by the astounding creativity of the artists.  Often I come home so excited that before I say hello to my family I am at my desk, busily working on my next project inspired by something I saw or some amazing fabric I came across.

But - there is danger lurking in the seemingly innocent rows of inspiration - it is the danger of thing-a-ma-bobs, doo-dads, and hootchies.  You know – it’s all the stuff that you see in the merchant section of the show. These items that seem so delightful in the glow of post-quilt viewings are often in reality items that you never actually use and can’t remember how to work once you get home.  The people in the booths cleverly demonstrate their ease of use, tell that they can simplify and save time and how they allow you to make the amazing creations they have on display,  and you actually believe you must have one or you’ll never be inspired again, but the truth is it’s really just the warm afterglow of viewing great art influencing your judgement - you may not truly be interested in making that particular type of quilt and the handy ” whatsit”  you need to make it will, in all probability, sit in your studio for years until you come across it one day and really cannot remember what it is or how to use it.  See what I mean about being mislead?  You are in actuality being influenced by the beauty of the creations you have viewed to buy a bunch of crap you don’t actually want!

I'm not saying all the gadgets or tools sold at the quilt show are useless; I’m sure all of them were invented in good faith and some of them really are handy, no doubt.  I’m just saying that it is good to be a little more scientific and less emotional when deciding what to actually purchase, especially after looking at the quilts on display.  I speak not in a preachy manner, but from experience.  I have been a victim of afterglow several times myself, and my mother, bless her enthusiastic soul, was one of the worst suckers for gadgets I ever saw.  Periodically I would help her clean out her studio and we often found items still in their original packaging (albeit covered with dust) and when I would question her about it, she either couldn’t remember buying it, or said “Oh yeah – I was going to use that to make that one quilt – oh I can’t remember, but it was really cool – just put it back, I’ll get to it later…” But of course, there was always some other new thingy, and most of them still sit dust-covered (now in my studio as Mother is no longer with us),  or have fallen off the shelf and broken, never to be used at all.    

This year I am on a short budget due to the fact that we are embarking on a new business venture (see my other blog:: cotton-pickingchickenblogger.blogspot.com), so I have devised a plan.  First, I am going to set myself a budget and take the amount in cash only. I am making a list of items to look for based on some designs I have planned beforehand, as well.   I will not even bring my credit card, so I cannot be tempted to use it.  On day one I will view the quilts, and view the quilts only.  The next day I will go through the booths and make lists of the booth numbers and what I think is interesting or what I want to buy (which is always a long list) as well as the price.  I will go over the list that night and see what exorbitant number I come up with and whittle it down to a more realistic amount, and on the third day I shall visit the booths again and make my actual purchases.  That way I won’t overspend or waste any money on things I will not use.  I’m going to stick to this plan no matter what.   I refuse to purchase another item I don’t really need just because of quilting propaganda.

Having said all that, of course I will be open to new innovations and ideas – part of the purpose of attending the festival is to get new inspiration, so I need to be a little spontaneous, right?  I'm not against being excited, I am merely attempting to NOT be mislead by the propoganda of the amazing art I will be viewing!  I'm trying to walk the line of inspiration frenzy and cool, clear-headed consumerism (which does NOT run in my family).  I’ll let you know how that goes when I get back – wish me self-control, okay?

Sorry I haven't written in the last couple of weeks - been busy with my new chicken farming venture and my new part-time job!  I'll have a post completed tomorrow, though, so stay tuned!

Cheaters Sometimes Win

            Is it only cheating when you get caught - or is it okay to fudge, embellish, stretch, darn, or paint over mistakes?  I used to think that everyone except me was able to churn out perfect, flawless art, but now I know the truth – some of them cheat! It makes me so happy to know this!

            Because I make mistakes, no matter how careful I am.  Most of the time they are smallish and very few but the most discerning (or critical...to-may-to, to -mah-to) would notice them, but they eat away at me and I often feel compelled to point them out to admirers.  My husband always says “Just pretend they are part of the design, and if no one mentions them, you shouldn’t either!”  He’s right of course, but that is difficult for me to do – I have honesty diarrhea – it runs out of me before I can stop it a lot of time. I think the problem is that when I know it is there, it’s all I can see, and I always suppose other people are noticing it, too.

         Of course, in my quest to be more “zen”  I have also tried acceptance, and I can  certainly accept that I am going to make mistakes, even be (somewhat) calmish in the face of them, but let’s be real here –one cannot tell a potential buyer to just accept that the piece was made by a human and therefore has flaws  and then expect them to pay for it.  It has to at least have the attitude of perfection in order to be sellable. 

            Plus, it’s heartbreaking (or depending on one’s personality, crazy-making) when you have spent countless hours designing and creating something only to make or discover a glaring flaw at the very end!  In the past, when I have made mistakes, I thought “That’s it – this piece is ruined!”  Now I know better.  For example, I’ve made the recent discovery of the many delightful uses of clear thread (Where have I been? Under a rock, I guess – I know it’s not new).  I wish I had known about it a long, long time ago, because this thread is magic – it can be used to fix almost any mistake and it is basically invisible (especially with 40+ eyes! ) – LOVE IT!  

            For example, one time I was trying to trim threads when I finished a piece and I cut the fabric instead (Surely it’s happened to many people, not just me…right?) I  About a quarter inch gap appeared right in the front, very conspicuous, and I actually cried!  But after I mopped up, I was able to repair it with the magic invisibility thread and it was virtually unnoticeable – thank God!  The mistake was still there, so I had to clamp my jaws together whenever anyone complimented the piece so I didn’t point it out, but the truth is, no one has ever noticed it but me.  So the stuff really works and it is now my best friend.  (Of course, like all relationships with best friends we have our problems.  It may be able to make mistakes disappear, but being invisible it is really difficult to work with, sort of like sewing with a long blond hair – hard to see and thread through a needle - especially with 40+eyes - and even more difficult to use in a machine, so sometimes I curse at it, but deep down I truly love it.)

              I have fretted and worried about this cheating until I talked to someone who said she took an entire class once from a well-known and respected artist that was entirely about fudging – she even said one idea was to use a sharpie marker to “fix” little mistakes.  After I got over my shock, I was elated!   Well heck, if the leaders in the industry are doing it, then why can’t I? 

            So naturally, now I cheat with abandon (I mean, only if I have to)! No need to cry over mistakes, there’s probably a way to fix it, hooray! Only I don’t consider it cheating anymore – I’m just making it perfect (or at least look perfect!)  And if I can only keep my mouth shut about it – hopefully I can do it so well that no one will ever notice. 

            I’m going to the Houston Quilt Festival at the end of this month, and along with admiring the amazing works of art I will see and getting endlessly inspired,  I have to admit I’m going to, just for fun, see if I can catch any flaws or mistakes and see how these incredible artists cleverly disguised, fixed or covered them up.   Hey, I’m always on the lookout for new ideas, if you know what I mean!  

Puposity

          In tenth grade world history I learned that one of the characteristics of a civilization is that they create art for enjoyment.  From that I can extrapolate that I live in a civilized world because I see art everywhere in our world – there’s fine art, books, movies, television, performance art, music, fashion – in fact, there are probably as many forms of at as there are people, because in the right hands, almost anything can become art, even food - I once heard about a restaurant in Spain called E Bulli where the dinner literally takes all night to eat.  The food is presented in course after course as if the patrons were at a museum looking at pieces of art – and then they get to eat the amazing (and hideously expensive) things. Naturally the place was booked years in advance, although it did apparently close this year to become a “haute cuisine” research facility - talk about artistic!

          Apparently we “modern” humans create just because we can.  Sometimes I wonder, though– is that enough, or does there have to be a larger purpose for it?  I know that when ideas and inspiration come to me if I don’t follow through on them I become crabby and impossible to live with, but on the other hand, what do I do with them after they are created?  You see, all this creativity takes a lot of time, and I am half German, which means that I sometimes feel the need for a little practicality.  Traditional quilts have always had a practical purpose, yet most people who have made them have strived to make them beautiful as well, because they could, so many are both useful and works of art – that’s easy.  But I don’t make traditional quilts – I make art quilts.  So what does this mean?  For me, it means that I am going to attempt to sell my art

           First of all, I know that in order to sell your work you must believe in it, and I believe in textile art as a medium – I know from experience it can really warm up a space, add style, texture, color and people respond to it emotionally every bit as much as they do to other forms of art.  So I’ve got that part down.  And I feel I can stand behind my work and if it gets some exposure, it might just sell.  So I’m okay there, too.

          But it seems I can’t help questioning whether this is the right thing to do at this time in my life, or I need to continue to live more conventionally (i.e.a steady paycheck, etc.)  Just because I feel I am opening up creatively doesn’t mean I am not still a practical, logical girl.  I know I’m at a time in my life when I still have many productive years left and I want to continue to contribute to my family, my community and the world in general.  I’m hoping that I can balance my need to create with a little dose of real life by getting my work out there and taking some chances - nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?  If it doesn’t work out, I’ll do whatever I need to do and  furthermore (in keeping with the title of the blog) I shall strive valiantly to be at peace, whatever the outcome.  Because I can’t “just do it” – I apparently need a reason.  (That dratted German blood!)

          Having shared my personal situation - I also strongly believe that doing, making, and creating does have a great deal of inherent value just in itself.  Creating art as a hobby is plenty worthwhile, even if you have no idea of or interest in sharing it with the world.  What I believe is that we all have to create on our own terms.  I’m just still negotiating mine, apparently.