Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Back in the Saddle?

            Finally!  I’m jumping back onto the writing and quilting bandwagon.  It’s been a very busy fall, and I just haven’t been able to get to either - too busy working .   (Hate it when being a grown-up interferes with my life.) 
           Naturally, now that things are starting to calm down, I’m looking around at my studio and I’ve realized that at the moment I have little desire to finish my current  work-in-progress, which has been patiently and quietly hanging on the wall, just waiting for me to come and help it fulfill its wall-hanging destiny.  I look at it and yeah, I still like it, and I want to finish it – oh, someday.    But I’d much rather start the new project that came into my head just yesterday.

            So I have this little drama going on inside my head. The practical (I’ll call it German) side of me thinks, “Now Carrie, you need to finish the one you started; you don’t want to have a bunch of unfinished projects, then you aren’t really accomplishing anything.  You can just finish this one and you’ll have something to look forward to starting after.  Just sit down and start working and you’ll get excited about it again…”  

 “Hmm,” I tell myself, “maybe I’m right.”    

            Suddenly in barges the other part of my brain (I’ll call it the ‘Not German’ or NG for short) .   “Oh come on, do what you feel like doing – art isn’t work, it’s art.  Go ahead and start the next project while you’re inspired!   You’ll finish the other one too, you know you will…eventually.   But look, you need something that will get you back into the creative groove, something  right now – this isn’t about being practical, this is about carpe diem!” 

“Hmm,” I think to myself, “I might have a point there, too.” 

            I hate it when that happens.  The battle between art and practical rages inside me all the time.   I’ve never been able to give in fully to either side.  I would actually love to just do what I feel like doing and not worry about it, but there’s that horrible super-ego that has a really large mouth that always has to have its say.  Whom do I listen to?  Who is right?  It’s quite a battle going on in my brain, and it happens often.   

            Suddenly I’ve had it.  “Stuff a cork in it, me!  Stop acting like this is some momentous decision and DO SOMETHING! “  I yell into my head.   Calmer, I make my decision, realizing that it doesn't really matter one way or another what I do, not only in this particular instance, but perhaps ever.  Aaah - that puts it all into perspective, doesn't it?   

            The choice is, of course, obvious to anyone who likes to create.  I’ll start the new one.   (To be honest, I already spent a few hours on the design yesterday, but feeling a little guilty when I glanced at the forlorn and unfinished project on the wall, I didn’t make any cuts yet – does it count if I haven’t actually actually started yet? ) 

            Anyway, to offset my guilt at being so undisciplined,  I will also confess that I also have no real idea how to put this new project together yet.  The sketch is great, but how I’m actually going to get it put together is another story…HA!  My practical side is now laughing in a rather undignified manner at my NG side.  Guess that’s what I exactly what I deserve for constantly talking to and then listening to my - selves.